I just realized that people are reading my posts. I assumed that I get a total of zero attention on Tumblr. This is really shocking and I think I just went into a catatonic state due to the shock. I’M SO HAPPY I LOVE ALL OF YOU WHO READ MY RANTINGS PLEASE TALK TO ME
Look, I know that you all probably thought that I abandoned this blog like so many other things in my life, since I haven’t updated in so long.
I can tell from the veeeeeeeeeeeery low number of Page Views.
The reality is…
HA, TAKE THAT LAZY FEELZ.
Anyway, IT’S CHANGMIN-DAY SO EVERYONE, CELEBRATE, NOW.
YES, PEOPLES, TODAY IS THE ANNUAL CELEBRATION OF THE BIRTH OF SHIM CHANGMIN. IT IS, THE 18TH OF FEBRUARY.
While we’re on this subject, I should probably remind y’all about how I cut my hair on important dates. Like, say, TODAY.
But unfortunately my mom gave me a load of grief about how I’m not supposed to cut my hair within the first fifteen days of Chinese New Year, and it’s also 初九 (The Ninth Day), the day we celebrate the birthday of le bigshot Jade Emperor aka 天公 (Tian Gong / Ti Gong) and that makes it even more taboo.
So in the end I just went to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned and to discover that I apparently have minor gingivitis.
Hey, my visits to the dentist are ever more rare than my haircuts, so I see this as more of a tribute.
Actually, no, I just said that to comfort myself for not following through on my vow to cut my hair on important dates. LIKE TODAY AKA CHANGMIN’S BIRTHDAY.
But, y’know, I figured that if my mom deems me too obsessed about Changmin, there’s no way in hell she’ll let me skip off the the Concerto, so I decided to shut up. Sacrifice the small fry for the big picture, the greater good and all that rot.
Just in case you were wondering about my day, here’s a list of things I did, besides going to the dentist and obsessing about my diseased gums.
A) Finished up my ASEAN Scholarship Application.
I finally got around to completing my ASEAN Scholarship Application and whatnot, and I sent it in. Fingers crossed that I get accepted.
Also, hope that I remind to mail in my data to the Singapore MOE.
B) Fixed up a mosquito net for my mom and dad’s bedroom.
Since this is Malaysia, the tropical land of rainforests and Aedes mosquitoes, my dad feels the need to install netting over his bedroom windows.
I think he must have mosquito crack running through his blood, though, because he always seems to be complaining about getting bitten while I sit around searching for random evil little buzzers that don’t seem to exist.
I spent half the afternoon with him fixing up a stupid magnetic mosquito net that’s supposed to stick to the window frame.
Yeah, we just found out that his window frame that’s suppose to be metal, isn’t so metallic after all. It doesn’t stick to magnets like the good lil’ frame it’s supposed to be.
So basically we wasted our whole afternoon.
Also, I realized that most of our Father-Daughter bonding time consists of watching movies, assembling furniture and doing handiwork around the house.
And by “assembling furniture” and “doing handiwork”, I meant stuff like fixing up all the stuff we get after an insane IKEA shopping spree, changing lightbulbs, painting walls, stuff like that.
My brother just sits around watching TV.
Sometimes I wonder if it’s a parallel universe I live in.
I also frequently wonder that if I do most of the “guy stuff” anyway, why didn’t my parents just give me a diq?
Ah, the mysteries of life.
C) I went to the dentist.
Wait, didn’t I mention this already?
Compared to my regular Monday of lazing around doing nothing, I would consider this day pretty productive.
What can I say, Changmin’s birthday is just inspiring like that.
And you’ll notice that not a single word about school was mentioned.
That’s because… I DIDN’T GO.
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BECAUSE HAHA DIDN’T SOUND EVIL ENOUGH.
ALSO, HERE’S A CREEPY GIF THAT HURTS YOUR EYES.
I didn’t go to school today.
CHANGMIN’S BIRTHDAY IS SUCH A HUGE EVENT THAT US MALAYSIANS FEEL THE NEED TO MAKE IT A NATIONAL HOLIDAY.
In reality, I skipped school because I was up until 2 a.m. yesterday (technically today, if you want to be picky) praying to the good ol’ Jade Emperor.
It’s too much effort to go to school and really, you can’t expect me to function on only four hours of sleep if the reason I slept late wasn’t because of a really awesome fanfic.
So, basically, I was just lazy.
Yesterday Loong and I were talking and for some reason he was trying to convince me to watch django - Unchained.
And because Loong is sorta idiotic like that, he pronounced it as django - Unchain. Because apparently all the Ds are supposed to be silent, just because the first word is pronounced that way.
Y’know, like a silent H, except not.
Anyway, this somehow led to a weird discussion in which I mentioned a creepy snake-like drain carrying a jukebox that makes hissing sounds (The Jukebox, not the snakey drain.) and killing people.
THE KILLER DRAIN OF DOOM.
Also, the only reason I’m mentioning this as all is because Loong told me to.
Someone stop him from reading my blog, it creeps me out because I bitch about him and his poor taste in women here.
And I do it a lot.
All other Crazy can be accessed here.
Let’s all celebrate the wonderful fact that this is my 150th blog post and it would seem that people are actually still reading.
Cassies, notice what I did with the red balloons, there.
Somehow we ended up explaining the very complicated subject of sex to Zheng Ying in school yesterday.
Don’t ask me why we had to give her The Talk.
For a seventeen year old with access to the Internet and pervy books, there’s really no excuse for her to be as innocent as she is.
I think I’m having writer’s block.
Because I really can’t think of anything to write.
My life has been rather uneventful recently.
I think it’s because all I’ve been doing for the past three days other than rolling around on the sofa clutching my stomach is sleeping and staying up until 11pm to watch Season one of Merlin.
I realized that the first ever Arthur/Merlin shipper was probably Hunith.
She gave Merlin the whole, “He likes you, can’t you see that?” speech, you know.
Then Gwen and Morgana started too and the world became a happier place.
I have this sneaking suspicion that The Perks of Being A Wallflower (Movie) isn’t going to be shown in Malaysia because his gay friend Patrick’s relationship with the self-hating gay Brad plays a big role in the story, and because our government deems homophobia that right way to go with everything, they probably won’t risk exposing us to “the evils of homosexuality”.
I know this because when I was watching Glee : The Concert Movie some time ago, I noticed that they tried to pixelate Kurt’s “LIKES BOYS” shirt. I wonder if they know that by trying to hide it they’re just making it more obvious.
Sometimes I wonder why I’m so supportive of LGBTQ even though I grew up in such a homophobic environment.
I blame fanfics.
I somehow ended up getting roped into joining the debate team this year, and I’m not really sure how that happened.
I think at this point it would be nice to say that the only reason I did was to bump up my resume so that I’ll have a better chance at getting a scholarship.
I’m also going for Public Speaking, but the competition this year seems strong and to be honest I’m not that confident.
I’ll just pray really hard for the other contestants to get a bad case of laryngitis on the day of the competition.
Okay, now I’m just being bitchy.
I’m really happy as of now because they just released the album jackets for TIME which we all know is gonna be Yunho and Changmin’s new album and to be honest I really really like the concept this time.
That is, PAST, PRESENT and FUTURE.
SEX APPEAL. LOADS OF SEX APPEAL.
OKAY NOW I JUST REALIZED THAT THE RELEASE DATE IS A MONTH AWAY AND THAT MAKES ME SAD AGAIN.
BUT AT THE SAME TIME THEY RELEASED THE PREVIEW FOR “IN OUR TIME” THINK OF ALL MY CONFLICTING FEELINGS.
Also, I really need to find out what’s the difference between vivisection and dissection is so that I can start on that essay of mine for the Scholastic competition.
In my head it’s all going like this :
But in reality it’s not.
My life as a writer has been made very hard without Ju Xiang around to criticise and inspire me.
Also, I’m basically a very lazy person.
I’m actually continuing this post from yesterday because I sorta got distracted by all the pretty fanfics and pervy stuffs and flying unicorns and dragons and yeah.
Anyway, it would seem that Loong signed himself up for a singing competition.
I mean, to be more specific, his friends signed him up for a singing competition.
Nevertheless, this was my reaction :
I suspect that deep down inside, there’s still a part of me that’s in hysterics.
It would appear that the whole debate thing is a no-go after all, thanks to irresponsible teachers that were supposed to be in charge of the debate team but “forgot” to sign us up for anything.
And that just really, really sucks.
Yeah, thanks, you know, for potentially ruining our chances at getting scholarships.
Just for the record, I will blame you forever, nameless teacher that I don’t really know.
It seems that I’m expected to go run cross-country tomorrow.
It’s not really cross country, more like cross Bukit Tinggi, but whatever.
At my school, it’s usually like this :
Not to be racist, but there’s always this really insane Indian guy that manages to pass us on his way back even though us girls get to start before them guys.
He’s like this :
And we’re like this :
But, you know, that could just be me.
And I have this feeling that the teachers in our school choose the most horrible and lumpy and pot-holed road they can find, just to see how many students will fall down and break their neck each year.
You should know that two years ago I managed to sprain my ankle and I had to get sent back to school in an ambulance and this idiot guy from Red Crescent tried to give me a piggy-back ride even though I told him that I was 1283283902 kgs worth of fat and useless dead tissue and in the end he fell over and it was embarrassing for everyone.
Also, I have weak ankle joints since I managed to that particular ankle at least four times in the past two years, so that should really say something about my calcium levels.
Anyway, it’s mostly because of the Road of Doom and less because of the fact that I hate running.
Oh, who am I kidding.
It’s totally because Orange runs too fast and I don’t get to ogle his ass.
Also, as Eva likes to tell me, my fats jiggle when I run.
See, this is why I prefer swimming, badminton and cycling to running.
You will notice that whenever I plan exercising sessions with my friends, we usually go swimming or badminton or basically just walk around the park for an hour doing nothing.
Actually, I’m finally putting that useless cycling machine my family bought a long long time ago to some productive activity.
I sit on it and read fanfics while my legs move around in circles.
And not in a pervy way.
It seems that cycling is actually a better way to bust leg fat.
Also, you sorta grow taller, since you’re stretching your stubby legs trying to reach the pedals.
Short kids need to cycle more.
I just came to the realization that basically, the people in my life are divided into four different groups.
A) The people I hate extremely intensely.
These are the people I make voodoo dolls of and poke needles into in the middle of the night.
Example : The Crow and Lucas Chee.
B) The people I hate a lot.
These are the people I may have used to sorta love, but they turned out the be horrible people and basically pulled my heart of my chest and wrapped it up with barbed wire and stuffed it back while it was all bloody and disgusting like a raw steak.
Ex : My ex-best friends, y’know. And, possibly maybe Orange when he’s being bitchy and insensitive and flirty with the Pixie.
C) The people I hate moderately.
These are the people that I really don’t like for various reasons, but in the end I realize that in reality they’re nice people and I’m actually just jealous of them.
Ex : The Pixie and The Girl.
D) The people I hate slightly.
These are the people that I hate on principal because they annoy me so much but not really because they’re also a teeny-tiny part of wonderful at the same time.
In front of them :
Secretly deep down :
Okay, no, seriously.
I don’t hate them that much.
Ex : Loong, my Bro, Naufal.
D) The people that I don’t really hate because I don’t really know them.
These are the people that I’m not really acquainted with their bad qualities to want to throw rocks at them. And actually some of them are quite nice people.
People who go under this category : Moderate friends.
Ex : Most of my classmates.
E) The people I hate so much because they’re all horrible and make me go around laughing like a retard.
In all seriousness, I hate all of my best friends and they’re all horrible and shameless people can actually deal with me and my craziness.
Actually no who the hell am I kidding.
Ex : Ju Xiang, Cassandra, Li Yar, Lychee, Zheng Ying, Yi Wan, Kim Mei, Evarrrr and Chin Bee.
— End List —
So, basically, I hate everyone.
I just hate some people less, and some people more.
Yesterday I stared at a picture for 30 seconds thinking that it was some kind of vanilla dessert with a disfigured cherry on top before I realized that desserts don’t actually have heads or paws and the “cherry” was actually the liver of a dissected rat.
I proceeded to spend five minutes retching and rocking back and forth, staring blankly into space.
Eva is a horrible friend that abandoned me and skipped off to watch anime.
I hate her.
Recently I’ve been mildly obsessed with Adele’s song, Chasing Pavements.
Even though, you know, I have no idea what she means by “chasing pavements”.
Also, I sort of really hate the way the TV stations over here censor all the Kurt/Blaine sexy time in Glee.
Every single time they have an intimate moment and all the sexual tension is in the air and you can tell that sexy shits are ahead and you’re all like :
Then it suddenly cuts to another scene and we’re left like this :
What can I say, the Malaysia government is homophobic like that.
Did you know, that apparently it’s actually illegal for you to be gay in Malaysia?
Apparently you could be sent to jail or something.
So, you know, as a warning to all homosexuals :
Or, you know, pretend that it’s all Bromance and Fresbianism.
If you didn’t already guess or didn’t already know, Fresbians are the female equivalent to Bromance.
Though, to be honest, I think Bromance is a term that self-hating gays use to hide the fact that they’re sexually attracted to their friends.
But that’s just my opinion.
Cyber-stalk me more here.
Okay, so remember how I said that we were gonna go to Lychee’s house for a Group Study session?
Yeah, it totally failed.
In the end we sat around listening to Lychee’s complicated family history and it actually made me want to write a crime + mystery + horror story.
Also, I realized that I’m friends with some sort of secret gangster.
It seems that when she was 10, Lychee was a Bad Student.
I’m not talking about the bad as in never-passes-up-homework and lazy kind of bad.
I’m talking about the climb-the-water-tower and fighting-with-metal-rods kind of bad.
My reaction :
To be honest, I’m still in shock that my friend had this whole other violent life that she never told me about.
My heart is melting like ice in Malaysia because now I’m listening to Changmin singing 听海 (Listen To The Sea) one of my favourite Mandarin songs of all time and his pronunciation is damn near perfect and he’s fucking awesome and OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG JUST LET ME DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Sometimes I wonder if he’s actually a demon sent from hell sent here to seduce all of us into a life of depravity and sin.
Then I realize that if that was the Devil’s objective, Changmin wouldn’t be able to bring so much fucking joy to the world, so Changmin must be from another planet.
Either way, I worship the ground he walks on.
Ju Xiang’s Birthday Present arrived today after 12903890283 years and I was jumping around crazily for a total of 0.3 seconds before I realized that it was for her and I couldn’t actually have it.
Since Malaysia multiracial and has 2043843 holidays every year, I’ll only be able to announce what it is next Tuesday.
I’m afraid she might read my blog and find out what it is.
I’m struck with a sudden sense of depression, because I just remembered that I have to go for Physics tuition tomorrow at 9 am, which means that I still have to get up early even though there’s no school.
I realize that half the world is gonna want to kill me, but I finally decided to post and say that “I Got A Boy” isn’t actually that good.
I know that they’re supposed to be “free” and “hip-hop” and all that, but to be honest, it just seems that they’re trying too hard and imitating 2NE1.
Also , the guy in their MV is fugly.
And Sunny scares me. Especially with the hair.
And I didn’t get the frequent changes of tune and mood and tempo and whatever. Do you want to be gangsta or happy little girls or diva. SERIOUSLY, MAKE UP YOUR MIND.
It’s all over the place and getting nowhere.
I better stop so before SONES find a way to train heat-seeking missiles on my house.
My plan to be vegetarian totally failed.
In the end, I couldn’t control myself and ended up stuffing my mouth with 肉干 (Char-Grilled Pork).
It appears that Loong and I aren’t on the same intellectual level as Lucas Chee (He’s a guy in our school).
Apparently some random guy in Delima that speaks with an accent is the only able to rival Lucas Chee’s intelligence.
As you can see by the way he automatically assumes that anyone with a mildly British accent is highly intelligent, Lucas is a self-hating Asian.
As you can see by the way he assumes that he’s the smartest person in the world, Lucas is also a very lonely and egotistical person.
According to him, the only reason he’s not getting first place in exams is because he doesn’t study.
As you can see, he’s also a very delusional person.
As you can see by the way I’m bitching about him in this blog post, I hate him very much.
But anyway, I really shouldn’t spread negativity like this.
So let’s just skip the whole unpleasant business of how I told Lucas Chee that he was going to be a very very lonely person someday.
I went around giving cookies out to everyone in my class today.
Okay, fine, not everyone.
I pretended that the Crow and my ex-best friends didn’t exist, and I ran out of cookies by the time I got to the other side of the class.
It seems that most of my classmates like oatmeal and raisin cookies.
It turns out that Changmin’s first kiss was with an older woman after his debut.
I don’t know why, but this sort of disturbs me.
Mainly because my mind is a depraved pit of sexual deviances, and so when he says “Older Woman”, I’m picturing a creepy Mrs. Robinson that goes around molesting little kids.
I don’t think that I’ll be able to sleep at night, thinking that Changmin was somehow related to paedophilia.
Never mind then, I’ll just stay up reading all my pervy fanfics.
Also, the first episode of Moonlight Prince has been aired in Korea.
The problem is, that KBS World here in Malaysia only airs everything 40540 years late, so I’ll have to wait for a few more weeks.
Also, Queen of Ambition is supposed to have started on SBS, but I CAN’T SEEM TO FIND IT IN THE PROGRAMME LOG.
FUCK YOU, CRAPPY TV STATIONS.
Other annoying and pervy details of my life can be found here.